Dating Tips for men on first date
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What Every Man Should Avoid on the First Date
By Kim Lance, Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine
First dates can be scary for both men and women, particularly when it comes to making that good first impression. While your first date will most likely go off without a hitch, there are some things every man should avoid when taking a woman out for a first date.
Don’t Ever Show Up Late
Being punctual for a first date is an absolute must. Showing up to your date late will give your date the wrong impression. She may get the impression that you are always tardy, that you don’t care enough about her to show up on time, or, until you arrive, she may think she has been stood up. In any case, it is bound to put her in a bad mood and may give a sour note to the beginning of your date. If you have to show up late because of forces beyond your control, make sure you call your date to let her know or, if one of you does not have a cell phone, call the restaurant or meeting place so that they can let her know.
Don’t Show Up Disheveled and Dirty
It is important to give yourself enough time before the date to freshen up and look your best. If you show up to a first date looking shaggy, unkept, and smelling funky, your date will get the wrong impression about you. Your date may think you look this way all the time and immediately be turned off. Give yourself plenty of time to shower, shave, and iron your clothes. That extra half an hour could be the time you needed to give yourself the attractive edge your date has been looking for, and remember, not having the time to get cleaned up for a date could be detrimental to its outcome. A well groomed nicely dressed man will win out over a stinky slob every time.
Don’t Check Out Other Women In Front of Her
When you go on a date with a woman, you have committed yourself to her for the period of the date. Because of this, it is absolutely out of line to be checking out other women while you are on a date. This is rude and unacceptable. Constantly being distracted by other woman walking by will most likely make your date insecure and definitely doesn’t give her the impression that you are interested in her. If you are constantly looking over her shoulder at the hot blonde at the next table, one of two things are practically guaranteed to happen: 1) Your date will feel very bad about herself, thinking she is unattractive or unwanted, or 2) Your date will get extremely angry and annoyed with you, making for a bad drive home and a diminished chance of a second date.
Don’t Dominate the Conversation
When on a first date, you may feel the need to impress your girl with stories and interesting tidbits about you. That’s great, but don’t go overboard. Remember a conversation is between two people, not one person talking at another. It’s a great idea to share some intriguing stories and thoughts with your date, but make sure you are giving her enough time to equally participate in the conversation. Ask her questions about herself, this will show her that you are interested about her as a person and will give you the opportunity to learn more about her.
Don’t Whine and Complain
Yes, we have all had our bad days, but a date (especially a first date) is not the place to air all of your grievances. Chances are, your date is expecting to have a good, fun time when she meets up with you. If she is greeted with a “Gosh traffic was such a pain…I hate this town” she will immediately be turned off. Complaining sets the tone for a stressful, unhappy date. Even if you have had a taxing day, don’t spend the night whining about it. Just be happy to be spending time with the woman you are interested in. Smiles are contagious but so are frowns. Whether you know it or not, your bad mood could affect your date and how she feels about you. You want your date to remember you as funny and upbeat, not a downer.
Don’t Be Too Physically Aggressive
It is very important to read into signals your date gives you before going in for a kiss (or more). Don’t automatically think that just because you have had a good date that your date is ready take your physical relationship to the next level. If you are interested in kissing your date, start off with hand holding, a hug, and slowly build up to a kiss. Always respect your date’s wishes. If she says no to any physical advancement, take her response at face value and back off. A man who is too aggressive when it comes to intimacy can turn a woman off and could actually make the woman afraid or anxious.
Don’t Tell Her You’ll Call Her If You Don't Intend To
Telling a woman “I’ll call you” when you don’t intend to do so is a bad idea. If the woman was interested in a second date with you, her disappointment will only be magnified if she waits around for your call only to learn that you never had any intention of calling for a second date. If you don’t want to call her, just end the date by saying "It was nice meeting you" or a simple "Good bye, have a nice rest of the evening". This way you are not leading her on or getting her expectations up. On a reverse note, if you do want to arrange a second date, make sure you let her know. Planning for first dates can be nerve-wracking, but following some simple guidelines while on the date will help to ensure the best date possible. If you are friendly, on time, respectful, and attentive, chances are you and your date will have a great time and, if the attraction is mutual, your first date could be the start of a beautiful relationship.
Kim Lance is the Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine, an Internet publication covering online dating through news, reviews, experiences, interviews, and articles. This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used with permission.